


The Declaration of Urinary Independence

by orphan_account



Series: The Saga of the Doctor and his Bladder [3]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Embarrassment, Humor, Urination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 05:40:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18910684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men and Time Lords need the loo.





	The Declaration of Urinary Independence

**Author's Note:**

> Set in the time between "The Runaway Bride" and "Smith and Jones" when the Doctor was travelling on his own.

May 21st, 1781 Monticello

 

Thomas Jefferson finished his notes on the Constitution of France, and got up from his chair.

  
“Now, a bit of fresh air, Doctor?” he asked, addressing the Doctor. The Doctor was fiddling with his sonic and psychic paper checking what possible things it could show. One of its forms was an old ID from the Celestial Intervention Agency, which amused him, as the CIA invented the psychic paper so they WOULDN’T have to reveal their identities, especially in historical times.

 

 _Maybe they met Shakespeare once,_  he thought to himself, before realizing the Founding Father was talking to him. He was apparently suggesting a walk, or a “constitutional” as it would fittingly be called, later in history.

 

“Sure! Weather’s lovely!” the Doctor replied, agreeing without thinking. His bladder did the thinking for him, giving off slight pressure. Thomas walked to the door, while the Doctor shot a quick glance at the door to the toilet, on the other side of the room. Two facts dissuaded the Doctor from using it. One, it was a toilet designed in the 1700s, before modern sewer systems. Even if it beat a chamber pot, any day, he didn’t want to risk humiliating himself by breaking it with alien urine. Secondly, Thomas Jefferson, Founding Father, Third President of the United States, was standing next to him waiting. He decided he could probably wait until they got back.

 

“Coming, Doctor?” Jefferson called, raising an eyebrow expectantly.

 

“Er, yes!” the Doctor responded, following him out the door.

 

They had a nice walk in the countryside of Virginia. A few minutes into the walk, the Doctor’s bladder grew more uncomfortable. He tried to shake off the enticing thought of the many green trees near the road.

 

Jefferson noticed his alien friend was walking more slowly. His steps sounded oddly strained, he thought.

  
“Are you alright?” Jefferson asked the Doctor calmly.

 

“Yes, of course,” the Doctor lied with a smile, though it wasn’t that untrue, yet.

 

They walked a little longer, and that was when the Doctor started walking with his legs closer together.

 

Thomas noticed the Doctor’s nearly military gait. As the Doctor had impressed upon him a distaste for the military, he quickly figured out what was wrong. His friend needed to urinate.

 

“If you want, you can take a leak at one of those trees, if you don’t fancy waiting till we get back,” he suggested casually. The Doctor blushed slightly in embarrassment.

 

“No, I’m good,” the Doctor politely declined, not denying his problem.

 

“You sure? We’re not in a hurry anywhere,” Thomas Jefferson reminded him.

 

“Yes, it’s not that,” the Doctor stated, slowly considering the trees.

 

“Want me to turn around?” Jefferson asked with a chuckle, turning his back to the Doctor. And with that, he stopped minding the fact he was with THE Thomas Jefferson.

  
“Yeah, that would help brilliantly, actually. Back in a minute,” the Doctor announced running quickly across the grassy field to the row of trees.

 

He went to the nearest tree, unzipped and let go. He was struck briefly with the reminder that the author who wrote the Constitution was waiting for him to finish his _pee break._ He ignored it, in favour of enjoying his relief. Once finished, he zipped up and walked back to Thomas Jefferson.

 

As they were walking again, Jefferson got curious.

  
“Tell me, Doctor, why didn’t you use the privy in my office?” he asked.

 

“Weell, multiple reasons, perspective in regards to toilets in the future, plus you were there. I felt awkward about it,” The Doctor answered, awkwardly.

 

“The kinds of people you meet, travelling in that box of yours, I’d advise you to get past that,” Jefferson remarked kindly. “If not, I’d pray for a Doctor to run into you, keep your bladder from bursting.  By heavens, I’ve never been socially prevented from tending to bodily affairs, and I’m a travelling congressman,” he noted.

 

“I think I’ll have to go with the first option, no doubt,” the Doctor stated, emphasizing his choice with raised eyebrows, in worry of **such a circumstance...**

 

The End.


End file.
